About British humour, written by a Brit!

By Gareth Arthur-Whitely Simpson.

British humour is fucking crap compared the vast amounts of humours cable TV shows screened in American every hour. But out of the decency of my heart I am willing to read some comment defending Britain?s punk ass!

Brilliant! Read on! The difference between US and British humour is pain. Both of the two nations have suffered casualties in wars. The British lost a substantial part of its male population in the Second World War and the Americans suffered huge causalities in Vietnam. (I do know that America also lost nationals in the Second World War but the numbers of deaths our not proportional to my argument.) Whilst America lost many men in Vietnam they did not, as the British did, lose the majority of the adult male population.

For the British, the constant news of fatalities in the Second World War had a profound effect on how they choose to morn them. (It?s worth pointing out that this was the second time inside two generations that the male population fought in world war!) Instead of focusing on positive attributes of a recently departed family member or friend, the morning focused entirely on the negative aspects. For example, say Albert (A common name for that period) was killed in northern France. When news got to his friends down the pub, they wouldn?t talk about how honest he was, how he was a family man. The conversation would be more along the lines of; ?Albert, He was a fucking twat! Bad B.O! Always talking shit!? This was in the 1950?s- before television! Vietnam was different; soldiers got funerals, the causalities were not a significant part of the male population and most crucially, it was the 70?s!

In the 1970?s television was already an established part of entertainment, and that entertainment had been formed when America was on a high! The great depression behind them, nothing could stop them! The British on the other hand were introducing television in the 60?s and the population was still on food rationing!

Okay, that has told me nothing! Thank you. British humour is fucking dry and history has nothing to do with it! Can I go now?

No! Read on! The reason I am writing this is because so many American?s tell me that British humour is Dry! I can see why you come to this conclusion. For Example:

(If you are British then the reference is an episode of the Vicar of Dibley).

A very large female vicar (preacher) and a young female friend are walking down a small country track. The weather is wet and there are puddles all over the track. The younger girl begins to jump in the puddles, making splashes. The older, larger woman sees the enjoyment the young girl is having and decides also to jump in puddles. Unfortunately the woman jumps into such a large puddle she becomes completely submerged underwater.

Brit?s are so dry, laughing at some fat women falling into a puddle. Okay, yes partly I am laughing at the fat woman falling into a puddle but that is intrinsically funny. Comedy is deception. When a comedian is telling you a story, they are deliberately trying to convey an expectation, only to defy it with something so obscure that the audience could not have predicted that ending. In this case, you expect the women to jump into a puddle and make a splash. However, instead of that she becomes completely submerged in it.

There is another factor to this outcome, misfortune! We are laughing at her bad luck. The man who slips on the banana skin, the woman who falls into a puddle?. It?s not necessarily funny. (Although if I did see somebody who slipped on a banana skin I?d laugh because it?s a stereotype not often fulfilled) What Brits find funny is the element of misfortune. There are two elements of misfortune. In my example the woman jumps into the puddle that is really deep! How many other puddles were that deep? The answer is probably none. The second element is subconscious. The poor woman is now completely drenched. Her clothes are possibly ruined, her hair wet and now she has to walk how ever far her home is in this condition. This subconscious pain element is what we have inherited from casualties in the Second World War.

See! I told you four paragraphs ago. British humour is dry! It?s just simple misfortunate events to capture this ?pain? element you write about. I should be going soon!

Okay but misfortune doesn?t have to be unsophisticated! Faulty Towers, widely accepted as being one of the great all time British sitcoms is not unsophisticated in the slightest, yet it retains every element I have written about.

In this example Basil Faulty an hotelier, has commissioned Mr O?Riley, an Irish builder with a history of fallacious work, to do some maintenance on his hotel. Mr O?Riley won the contract to do these renovations because his rates are cheaper than another more reparable builder, despite the fact that he has failed to successfully complete a number of other jobs for Mr Faulty.

Mr Faulty?s wife, Sybil has gone away for the weekend and Mr O?Riley, a builder Sybil has specialty instructed Mr Faulty not to use, has made a number of mistakes on his commission. His mistakes include making a several essential rooms in the hotel only accessible via exterior windows and putting the hotel in structural risk by knocking down a supporting wall.

Hello! This is funny isn?t it! There is no difference between this and a woman falling into a puddle. Misfortune! Basil Faulty has defied his wife to save money, yet it has failed. The same subconscious British instinct comes into force. What will his wife?s reaction be? How much will this cost to resolve? Why did Basil Faulty not consider the standard of Mr O?Riles other commissions?

Erhhh? Can I go now.

Yes, I?m drunk! The only reason I?ve been writing this is because I?m drunk anyway. I?ve not put my e-mail address on this document because I hate people?s opinions. It?s easier to comment in hindsight! I?m dyslexics also, so most of the e-mails will be like ?Hey Gareth, nice article but it?s not grammatically correct. If you reference to paragraph two?? I don?t want that shit. I?d rather have all the Free Teen Porn e-mails thank you. If you do wish to contact me with something constructive to say?.. I hang out in the Soul Seek Indie Chat Room when I?m downloading music (which is often!) Just ask for me and somebody will point you in the right direction.

Zqtuxkyx 20/01/2003 00:33